There’s a common belief system that strong people can do everything on their own. They don’t need help from anyone, they can cope with every situation thrown at them and come out on top. We admire them all want to know how to build resilience.
The truth is, when you take a good look at these people, they are surrounded by so much support with positive people, education, networking groups, spiritual and religious guidance and the list goes on.
They know when to reach out for help and they do so immediately and instinctively.
The only real luck we have in our lifetime, is the family and situation we are born into. This is about the only thing we have no say in and no one to blame. Many people have a wonderful upbringing and sadly just as many are not so fortunate.
There are also many difficult situations that we encounter in our lives. For the most part, they can’t be helped but we are responsible for how we react to them. There are also times when, if we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we brought them on ourselves.
The most important decision to make is “ Do you want to be a Victim or a Victor?”.
Once you rid yourself of a victim mentality then your pathway to resilience, although difficult at times, will have you being the strongest version of yourself and it will be obvious to those around you.
I want to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learnt, through many years of enduring difficult and uncomfortable situations. Most of which have led me to meet some of the most amazing people who have endured far worse than me and have come out on top.
- Maintain your mental and physical wellbeing. Make this your priority. No excuses!
- Attend seminars with motivational speakers. My favourite speaker/authors are those who have suffered diversity and difficulties and show remarkable resilience. Two of my favourites are Anh Do and Immaculee Ilibagiza.
- Read books by your favourite speakers, watch them on TV, listen to their podcasts.
- Make sure those you share most of your time with, are positive and drama free.
- Try to stick to activities you enjoy. It’s ok to compromise but make sure your life isn’t always about pleasing others.
- If you’re like me and you love helping others, that’s great. Putting a smile on people’s faces is wonderful. Give without expectation but don’t let yourself get taken for granted. Know when enough is enough.
- Be very selective of who you spend and give your time to. When people constantly drag you down and just want to play victim, limit your time with them. Walk away if you have to.
- Stay away from anyone who criticizes your values, ideas and dreams. These people are usually very insecure about themselves and try to bring you down to their level, for their own satisfaction. Secretly, they envy you.
- Keep away from drama and triangles. If they talk about someone to you, guaranteed they will be talking about you to that someone. Never repeat a confidence and never trust anyone who repeats other peoples’ business.
- Trust your gut feeling. Always say “NO” when you’re not sure, because you can always say “YES” later, rather than swallow regret.
I’d like to leave you with two of my favourite sayings when it comes to building resilience:
Tywin Lannister writes “A lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of a sheep” and my all time favourite by Eleanor Roosevelt “ Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.” It’s your choice.
These lessons and the great teachings by many inspiring speakers and authors have taught me hoe to build resilience and I hope these tips will help you too. It’s up to you to take control.
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Until next time
Look Feel Live Your Best and Decide Today To Live For Tomorrow