How to stop your kids stressing over exams PT2
Last week I spoke to you about my observations during Year 12 final exams so here’s how I stop my kids stressing over exams and the tough challenges in their life.
Talk to them about what they love and encourage them to follow a career that they and not you, are passionate about.
Sometimes they’re not sure and that’s ok, so guide them with suggestions and ensure them that they are not stuck with the decision they make.
Everything they learn will lead them to their destination even if they veer off in different directions from time to time.
Teach them that they can achieve anything they set their mind to and to write them down.
This can be done on a vision board e.g pictures of holidays they want to go on, future cars anything that is important to them. They can visualise this everyday helping them to focus.
Writing down an end goal with a date on it and breaking down the steps they need to achieve it. Take an interest in what they want to achieve but let them take the wheel and you be the co-driver.
Remind them that their path could change and that this is ok. They will still reach their destination even if they have to take a detour.
Boundaries are important. It keeps kids on track and prepares them to follow rules, which is what life is all about.
When you set a boundary, explain why so they know that it comes from a place of care and not fear.
Avoid threatening them. For example; no games until homework done, limiting screen time so they don’t strain their eyes, getting to bed on time so they have enough rest. This teaches them to prioritise important things which will give you time to relax later. It’s a great method to help prevent stressing.
When it comes to exams and job interviews, teach them that they are only competing against themselves. Never to compare themselves to others, because their best is their best. Teach them to be proud of who they are, to be confident, to applaud other people’s achievements not threatened by them and to be compassionate towards others misgivings.
Use humour. Most people respond well to humour especially kids. My kids think I’m nuts most of the time but they know I can be tough as nails and when it’s no…it;s no.! Even in discipline I will use humour because I want the message heard and they realise I’m not being unreasonable.
Hey I’m no angel either and yes sometimes I explode.
When that happens boy do they jump but we usually have laugh about it later and to be honest I feel really bad about it.
I’d like to leave you one last word of advice to help you how to stop kids stressing over exams. In my mind, there’s no such thing as failure.
It’s such a horrible word. I once read that FAIL means “First Attempt At Learning”. How true is that?
If your kids get low marks, encourage them to look over where they could have done better and steer them towards the path they need to take.
Remember they will still reach their destination with your support, not your threats and words of disappointment.
Please don’t judge them because of exam results. Good or bad.
When you prepare your kids with this mindset, they will have an attitude that they can do it rather than be clouded by what happens if they don’t.
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