Everyone likes to make a New Year’s Resolution but is your New Year’s Resolution working and if not, like so many of us, why is it that we find it so hard to stick to the plan?
Before you stop reading, this is not another goal setting article. Yes, goal setting is vitally important, but there is so much more to it than that. Most of it is all about YOU, what’s stopping you and more importantly why you allow things to get in the way.
I’m the first one, when it comes to doing something hard or out of my comfort zone, that I’ll allow myself to be distracted with all the other things that I’m used to doing and putting them before what I need to get done.
I want to go back further as to why we sabotage ourselves. You see, we become conditioned to feeling guilty about putting ourselves first. Putting ourselves first does not mean we become selfish and stop caring about those around us.
‘ME FIRST’ which happens to be my New Years Resolution, means to make sure you are fulfilling all your needs so in turn you will always be the best version of yourself and be more able to serve others.
Here’s the thing, while we’re young and still single everything is about us. 100% of the time, we don’t need to consider anyone else, we do what we do and make decisions based on our own needs and wants.
Then we partner with someone and it becomes 50/50. It’s only right that we consider our partner’s needs as well as our own while we learn to co-exist. Still, this works because there’s only the two of you to worry about.
Then along come the kids, and guess what? Where do we sit in the 50/50.? NOWHERE! Why? Because we are conditioned to feel guilty about “me time” Yet, looking after yourself first, is so vitally important.
We become 50% partner and 50% parent. Where’s me time? Now I’m not suggesting splitting it equally especially when you have small children who do need a lot of our time but you can split it 80/20. You must allow some time for yourself and your partner so that you don’t burn out.
This way, you can accomplish your resolutions and achieve your goals one step at a time.
You can write all the goals you want, but if you don’t start putting yourself first, you’ll be like me and countless others, who let it all slide while everyone else around you gets their needs satisfied.
So I had a long hard think about what it is that stops me moving forward and I worked out a simple solution to how to make my New Years Resolution work. So simple and yet so powerful a tool, I’m surprised coming from a corporate background that I didn’t think of it sooner.
I like lists, they keep me accountable and help me remember what I need to do. But I’ve always written lists, and still not always achieving what needs to get done. Why? Because I let things get in my way. I work from home and I’ve allowed years of family and friends calling at the drop of a hat and dropping everything for them.
I’m a Miss Fix It. I love helping people and I wont ever stop but now I’ve got better at setting boundaries and saying no until I get my work done.
Many nights I’m up late getting my stuff done because I’ve helped someone all day with their stuff. What does that mean for me, frustration as days, weeks and months go by and still I haven’t got anywhere.
Next week I’m going to show you my daily “to do” list and how it works for me plus some really great tips on how to stop sabotaging your goals with some “Me First” tricks.
Look Feel Live Your Best and Decide Today to Live for Tomorrow